If you want to cheer up yourself and your guests – we offer you funny jokes about the New year 2021: classic new year’s jokes, about children and gifts, about January 1, and, of course, original ones for the year of the Bull.
About Santa Claus and Santa Claus
The most favorite new year’s jokes are about the adventures of Santa Claus, Santa Claus, and their assistants, and 2021 will be no exception. Catch funny stories that can be shared with friends, colleagues, or family.
— What is the difference between their Santa Claus and our Santa Claus?
– Santa Claus — he is always sober, with reindeer and gifts, and Santa Claus-he is always drunk and always with some woman.
After the new year, my friends met in kindergarten, and one of them says, upset:
— I don’t believe in Santa Claus anymore – he’s a cheater and a greedy person!
— I asked him for a puppy, but instead he found a doll that my mother hid from me in the closet and put it under the Christmas tree for me!
Letter To Santa Claus
“Grandfather frost, Vasya writes to you from Omsk, 45 years old. I don’t need anything from you, just tell me, please, what kind of creature orders you to increase the price of communal housing and public transport every year! And why it is his wishes that you fulfill in the first place.»
About January 1
The most vital jokes about the New Year are always associated with January 1 – we suggest storing these stories for the first day of 2021.
Meet on January 1 2 friends:
— So, how did you celebrate the New year 2021?
– Oh, I don’t know, I need to check out instagram.
America is an amazing country. We always start celebrating the new Year in the far East, but they always end the Same way-under the table.
January 1 at the table:
– Sing, why do you close your eyes when you drink vodka?
— Here’s the thing – I promised my wife yesterday that in 2021 I won’t look in the glass again…
2 friends met on January 1 and decided to discuss important news:
— I read a lot of things about the dangers of alcohol and Smoking before the holidays… and I firmly decided to quit in 2021.
– Should I stop drinking or Smoking?
– While, probably, to read!
Around the second month of the new year, Vasya began to doubt that the guests did not sincerely wish him money and love on new year’s eve…
Prayer of January 1,…
Lord, give me the strength to finish what’s on the table… give me the courage to part with everything that’s already gone bad… and most importantly, give me the wisdom to distinguish one from the other…
Guest wakes up on January 1 in a bowl of Olivier:
— And this year the salad will be more pleasant for the face… it doesn’t even sting…
– Of course, I did not fill it with mayonnaise this time, but with baby cream…, – the hostess carefully answers.
About the gifts
Anyone who chose gifts this year, or just remembers how he himself was waiting for a gift “under the Christmas tree” in his childhood, can tell his funny jokes for the New year 2021, and we offer you a few more stories from life that will “smile” everyone.
Dad, guess which of the trains were late last year most of all?
“What’s that, son?”
“And this, daddy, is the one you and mom promised to give me under the Christmas tree last New Year.
The kid writes a letter to Santa Claus and loudly comments:
– Santa Claus, please give me a constructor!
“Don’t shout like that, Santa Claus will read everything from your letter,” his mother reassures him.
— Yes, but dad, who is watching football in his room, will definitely not hear it.
The Santa Claus mail service post office received a letter from a little boy:
“Dear Santa Claus, This Is Dima. I live in the far North and it’s very cold in winter, but I can’t leave the house because I don’t have a fur coat, hat, gloves and felt boots. Don’t give me any toys, send me a hat, a fur coat, mittens and felt boots if you can. I really want to play snowballs!»
The soul of the post office workers could not stand it, they collected money and bought everything according to the list, but they did not have enough mittens. We decided that it would be fine as it was, and after a while the letter came again:
“Thank you, dear Santa Claus, for the gifts! That’s just at the post office we have bad people working, mittens still stolen…»
Grandmother asks her granddaughter before the new year holidays:
– Tick, what would you like to receive from Santa Claus as a gift for 2021?
“Birth control pills,” the baby says calmly.
“Oh, my God, why do you need such filth?” exclaims the grandmother.
– Granny, just think about it – I already have 4 dolls, God forbid the 5th one will appear.
– Drogo, what can I give you for the New year 2021?
“Well… power and world domination!
– Agreed, and you are sure that I will meet the 100 rubles that you gave me yesterday?
Two girlfriends choose new year’s gifts for children-they decided to take radio-controlled cars:
— And why do you take 2, and what does it have to do with the same ones? And, just in case, suddenly lost, or broken…
— No, really. This is so that the husband and child do not fight under the Christmas tree for her!
Who said that Santa Claus does not fulfill children’s requests! I asked that the work in the future was such that it would only come for money … the collector shared his memories.
Father and son write a letter to Santa Claus. Naturally, the Pope tries to look at the list of children’s wishes… and realizing that it does not please him, exclaims:
– Misha, what are you doing? Immediately, only the first three points are already worth 50,000 rubles!
– Dad, it’s Santa Claus!
— Have a conscience, he’s already old, do you have any idea what kind of pension he has?
Kindergarten. Christmas tree. A little girl climbs into the arms of Santa Claus:
— And what do you want to find under the Christmas tree, my dear child?” Grandpa asks
The little girl with a sooo serious face reaches for her ear and says:
— I was wondering… could you share with me the list of boys who misbehaved last year?”
About the symbol of the year-the Bull
If you want to cheer up your guests, tell them jokes about the symbol of the coming year 2021-a White Metal Bull.
— I can’t imagine what you can give your husband “under the Christmas tree” for 2021 bull?
— I can tell you-give me horns! I can even help with the installation, for free…
— What happens if you cross a bull with a bat?”
“Night bomber, most likely.
A student who is late for the train speaks to a farmer who is standing by the road:
— Do you mind if I go straight through your field?” I really need to catch the 6:45 train.
– In principle, no. Moreover, if you suddenly notice a bull grazing there, you will have every chance to catch the train that departs at 6: 15.
Some of the jokes can easily be used as a funny and creative toast, or sent to friends to raise their spirits on New Year’s eve or January 1.
And the most important thing! Remember – the New year 2021 is coming soon, which means it’s time to forget about old mistakes and start planning new ones! Happy new year!